During assembly today my grade was noticed about an upcoming interview that questioned us on our education and improvement on it. It allowed teachers an insight of how we're (singly) going, what we need to work on and how to improve the school education to benefit us. Of course, I had already made some points in my mind as to what to address when it I was going to be interviewed. At first our deputy said it was going to be individual; however, the individual interviews had become group interviews to save the teachers time and to get through the interviews in one day.You'd think that it was okay because being in a group was better than being by yourself. For me, it was the opposite.
I was panicking- am still panicking- that I must be interviewed with a group. One of the advantages of individual interviews was the privacy and trust to speak out your problems. This advantage has been taken away from me now that the interviews are being grouped. I can't, won't, don't want to talk about my education problems with a group because they needn't hear it, and I don't want friends to know what's troubling me anyway.
I'm a very conservative person, opening up to the very few people I trust. It's hard because most of my problems shouldn't be troubling me, but I'm so sensitive. I am also very sure that I WILL cry during the interview; my problems are affecting me that much.
It's scary really. I think I would've been fine had the people in my school not been such snobs and gossipers. Well actually, it wouldn't matter if they weren't judgemental; I can't have people see my cry.
It's a weird fear, I know, but it's fear all the same. It's a weakness I don't want people to see- I have a small reputation of being strong, weird, I don't know. But not weak.
I don't know. I'm not sure how to deal with this right now.
