I used to write because I wanted to contribute to the fandom I were in. I wanted to share my love for my OTPs and how I pereceived their relationship to be. They were well received to be honest, but I guess that was because they were read by fellow shippers who weren't so advanced in English. I'm certain if a great writer read it they'd shake their head and cringe. Even I can't look at them now. My ideas were great, but my words weren't.
I took a long hiatus- two years- because I suffered emotional detriment, losing my inspiration, my motivation, my spark to life. Was I depressed? You could say so, though that wouldn't be the word I'd use. I don't know how to describe my feelings.
There were many times I wanted to write. I became part of new fandoms, and thought of great ideas. However when they turned into words it never clicked. The vocabulary wasn't developed, and the story didn't flow well, so my stories were never published.
But now? Not visiting the fanfic site I use for a few months and coming back to it the past couple of days has given me much encouragement. I read new comments that were full of positive comments. If I can still create such responses from readers while my writing was underdeveloped, can I do it now that it's more developed? I hope so.
I'm getting back into my old self. I've finally let go of a majority of past hurt and am moving on. This has allowed me to see greater things, and now I'll be able to draw inspiration from all that is around me. I'm very spiritual... Okay not really, but I believe things other people don't, so that has to count as being spiritual, right?
I need to return back to the family now, they've come back inside after playing keep it up. Goodbye, goodnight!
